34 weeks gestation

3 pounds 11.2 ounces

She is steadily gaining weight. She looks wonderful and  healthy. She was wearing a little pink onesie when I went to see her yesterday after work. She now is able to make little silly baby faces when she is sleeping. She tried breastfeeding 2 days ago and since has done a little bottle feeding. Once yesterday and once today, she actually ate 20-25 ml of her 30 ml feeding. Such great steps for little Ella.

It was a tough decision to tell the nurses they could feed her in our absence. They asked us on Sunday if they wanted them to wait for us to feed her or if they could feed her in our absence. The selfish side of me wanted them to wait for me to give her the first bottle. My motherly side of knowing what is best for Ella knew it was best to allow the nurses to feed her whenever she showed cues.

However, last night when I went to visit her she was too tired to feed. She slept the entire time which I took advantage of by just holding her and watching her little baby faces. But, part of me was so jealous of the nurse that got to spend the day with her and feed her...her 1st bottle. I had mixed emotions of happiness she ate a bottle so well, but sadness because I missed it. I know there will be several opportunities and we have so much time ahead of us.

Today is the day that Ella James Beck would have joined us ... that is if we would have made it to when they wanted us to make it. Although, we have had ups and downs over the past 7 weeks and times have been tough on us, I think we are to a point where we are headed in the right direction. I had wanted to hang out in the hospital in my little room as long as possible to give Ella less days in the NICU and a better chance of survival. I think our roles were turned though ... her early arrival may have just saved me. She is strong and is going to be an extraordinary but hopefully ordinary girl.